This Season of Advent
We bundled up against the cold, early morning. In the darkness, Monroe drove us down the forest road, winding with expectation. We parked and began walking towards the point on the rim. It was an early Monday morning, and we were standing there in the now early light with maybe seventy-five other people, representing countries from all over the world. The air was so dry that our breath was not frosty even though the thermometer hovered around freezing. We stood clustered together, changing our positions a couple of times to get the best vantage point, watching, waiting, all eyes directing on the eastern sky. Everyone had checked the weather reports...we all knew what time the sun was supposed to make its first appearance that day. Still, we all waited, a hushed reverence in the crowd. A young child whispered up at her daddy, "Why are we here?" Her daddy responds, "Because this is one of the most amazing things in the world to see."
As we gathered there on the outcropped point, snapping pictures, jockeying for better views, we all waited on the cold rock, anticipating the moment when the sun would peak over the cliff and light beams would spill all over the canyon. Gorges on the other side lit colorful in an unfathomable display of beauty. The warmth of the sun penetrated almost immediately. Watching the sun rise over the Grand Canyon that morning was a moment of my life I hope I never forget.
And now, we are walking a different path. Days are marked off on the calendar and everyday brings us closer to the most magical and sentimental of holidays. The Christmas season is upon us. We know what it will bring. Lists and food, parties and shopping, family and friends, music and lights, parades and presents. In the hustle and bustle, we cling to everything that will try to "get us in the Christmas spirit". We start shopping early, decorate our trees right after Halloween, and start listening to Christmas music before it's even December. None of these things are necessarily wrong, but are they truly getting us in the Christmas spirit? When the new year comes, do we not look back and exclaim how quickly the season went? We have crammed in everything that we possibly can, and when it is over, how many of us still feel empty?
Last year, my heart ached at the preparation of Christmas. My heart could not hold it all in. I had attended the funeral of a child, and I watched and wept for his momma. Wave upon wave of grief, a heart exploding with a pain it was not meant to handle. And while I grieved heavy in my heart for her, it was not all. My own heart, maybe physically responding to all the hurt and pain in this world, had begun beating wildly in my chest. Doctors told me that it was not harmful, not an irregular heartbeat, and yet it continued. A thousand times a day. Beating hard, beating wildly, pounding and palpitating. I was afraid that I was going to die. And life had become not like anything I had expected. It was full of bounty but also loss, beauty but also pain, anticipation but also hopelessness, love but also fear.
And that's when I remembered that morning. Every morning, the sun rises over the Grand Canyon, and I would imagine the atmosphere is the same each day. People, anticipating in a hushed and reverent moment, watching in wonder to see how the light will flood and color the canyon. And every year, Christmas also comes, and we make plans to be there and we wait in awe and wonder and expectation. On the edge of a canyon, I found myself watching and waiting for the sun to rise because the season was cold and dark and this light coming was one of the most amazing things in the world. And now, we are on the edge of Christmas, and I need the Light, and I need what the Light brings with it. I need to see and feel Hope, I need my heart to be at peace, and I need to know that He is joy despite the pain, and I want Love above all. I need Christ to come, and I want His Presence more than any other presents. I do not want it to be like every other Christmas. I want to recognize the amazingness of it all. This coming of Christmas, this celebration of true love, the gift of God in the form of Jesus, coming down from heaven, coming to us as a vulnerable baby, exposing Himself to our weaknesses and darkness. Oh, how I wait for the Light!
To learn more about Advent and how you can celebrate the Advent season in your home, please visit this page on Desiring God or this article on Crosswalk.