Girl Defined...The Review
Coincidence (noun)-A striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance.
Coincidences. I don’t believe in them. That’s why I don’t think that it was by mere chance that I was selected to be a part of the recent book launch team for the book Girl Defined at the same time that I was reading a book about training boys to become godly men*. And I don’t think that it is coincidental that I was reading these books while social media was exploding with controversy over gender and bathrooms and Target. All of these things happening at once, and I am faced with the fact that unless we intentionally train our children, they are destined to learn more from the world than they are from the Bible. We will have to be deliberate and specific in our teaching and discipling.
From the very beginning of Girl Defined, there are stories and examples of lives that have been tragically ruined or sidelined due to following the world’s prescription for a woman to be happy and have a successful life. Sisters Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird candidly share their own journey into the world of modeling. They are quick to point out that the women who, by society’s standards, are the most beautiful, most famous, and most successful are the women that are most insecure. These stories present the first side of the problem that we face. All women want to be loved and valued, to be thought of as beautiful, and to have happiness, fulfillment, and security. However, if we continue to follow the example that magazines, television, movies, and social media give us, we are destined to find ourselves lacking of the things that matter the most. We will continue searching and seeking down wrong avenues until we are weary and spent. After reading the first part of the book, you will find yourself motivated to choose the right path from the beginning.
At this point, Girl Defined starts giving direction as to how we can achieve a life filled with satisfaction and contentment. After clearly defining “counterfeit femininity” and the goals that the world gives for achieving success, we will realize two things. One is that the modern society does not value the specific, creative, and beautiful distinctions there are between the two genders. You will also see that media tries to fade the lines of distinction rather than celebrating and appreciating how men and women were made. In a world that wants to deny the existence of a Creator, it is only fitting that it would try to marginalize and minimalize the beauty and depth that lies within each gender.
The Bible has given us a plan for how we are to live our lives, and the authors of Girl Defined have researched and studied and read and prayed through God’s Word to discover how we can be intentionally living the way God intentionally created us. He created men and women to be equally valuable but to reflect different parts of His character.
In the book Girl Defined, you will examine three pillars of biblical womanhood. They are explained as the things to aim for when trying to reach God’s “bull’s eye” of true success. My favorite parts of the book are in this section. I love how they explain the true meaning of “helper”. Women are to be helpers as God Himself is a helper of mankind. What a wonderful truth to be compared to God Himself! I also appreciate the in-depth way that they “retold” the creation story. They speak of the creation of Eve as being created “for” someone. I love to be reminded that I was created for a purpose and for someone, not as someone to be used, but as someone to be loved and cherished. Already, the perception I have of my own value has increased. As I continue to aim for the three targets, I find my thought patterns are changing; I am more purposeful in my attitudes and actions; and I am finding more value and satisfaction in my daily tasks.
“God’s design transcends time and culture and is always relevant.”
Kristen and Bethany delve into the true meaning of sacrificial love and how our own actions and attitudes can empower men to also live toward God’s calling on their lives.
Another section of the book that I particularly enjoyed was when they looked at several women from the Bible and studied their characteristics. These women are the ones we should try to emulate. These women were strong in character and truth and exemplified hard work, goal-setting, and determination. The world’s definition of successful womanhood also includes character traits that praise hard work and meeting goals and deadlines. The difference in these biblical women is the “why” they were working so diligently. These women were doing their temporal, earthly work in light of their eternal and spiritual goals. They desired to glorify God and to bless their families and the people around them. Throughout the Bible, we are reminded that marriage, motherhood, and homemaking are honorable in God’s eyes. They should be important to us because they are important to God.
“We can’t plan our future and then try to squeeze biblical womanhood into it.”
The entire focus of the book is that we should be motivated to be the women that God has called us. They give us clear direction for our thought patterns based on biblical principles, and finally, the authors show us what it looks like to be intentional both in how we live and how we serve and disciple others. We need to plan and set goals and prepare to meet the goals by taking decisive action in accordance with the Word of God. They call us to be B.R.A.V.E. women…bold, radical, anchored, vigilant, and empowered.
*The book I was reading is called Mysteries of the Bush by Dr. Paige Patterson and Armour Patterson.
Epilogue
Prior to reading these books, I had not spent a lot of time studying the biblical roles assigned to men and women. What exactly is “biblical womanhood”? What do the terms "egalitarianism" or “complementarianism” mean? I remember the first times I heard these words, and I didn’t know what they meant. I wanted to provide you with some basic definitions of these words that might help in your understanding of the concepts presented here. There are many books and websites that delve into each of these concepts for your further study. I highly recommend the Girl Defined website www.girldefined.com for more information and valuable resources.
Biblical womanhood…a movement within evangelical Christianity, adopting a complementarian view of gender roles, and emphasizes passages such as Titus 2 in describing what Christian women should be like.
Complementarianism…a theological view that men and women are equal in value and worth and have different but complementary roles and responsibilities in marriage, family life, and religious leadership. Complementarianism assigns primary leadership roles to men and support roles to women.
Egalitarianism…a theological view that the Bible teaches the fundamental equality of women and men of all racial and ethnic mixes, all economic classes, and all age groups, and that there are little or no distinctions between the different groups of people and how God created them.
Please follow this link to order your copy of Girl Defined from Amazon. Below, I have copied and pasted the review that I gave this book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Family Christian Bookstore, Mardel’s, and Wal-Mart.
In a world sin-scarred, broken, and suffering from the powerful effects of our fallen nature, this book was truly refreshing and a delight to read. Girl Defined is packed with solid truth, the perfect length, and is an enjoyable read. Sensitive and intimate issues that are covered are not pervasive and always delivered tastefully and with solid biblical references. This book is well-researched, strongly based on biblical truth, and is pertinent for the world in which we now find ourselves. From the very beginning, Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird share from their own personal experiences and offer you glimpses into their lives, complete with their own journey into the modeling world. The book is divided into 5 parts beginning with a clear explanation of why this book and topic of biblical womanhood is so relevant for today. They dissect the idea of “counterfeit femininity” (which the current media-driven culture so readily adheres to) and demonstrate how this idea is actually leaving more women hurting and searching for meaning and value. In the following sections of the book, they explain in detail how women can aim for God’s plan and learn to truly understand and appreciate our gender. They discuss the pillars of biblical womanhood and then offer testimonies of how we can apply these truths in our lives no matter what moment of life we are in. Once the stage is set, the authors start delivering sensible and practical ways to start incorporating God’s truth about our identity into our daily lives. There is a clear and definite plan of action offered for transforming this from a motivating theme to a real-life application. Checkpoints and study guide questions accompany each chapter of this book providing you an unwavering sense of direction. Now is the perfect time to begin transforming your life according to the standard that never changes…God’s Word. After reading this book, I would describe it in the word “intentional”. God created us intentionally, in His image, and we can live according to His Word and His design and leave behind the emptiness that comes after following the ways of the world. I would highly recommend this book to young women, especially those in middle adolescence, and for all women, regardless of whether they are married or have children. This book will be a resource for me as my own daughter is coming soon into the teenage years. I would also recommend their blog site www.girldefined.com for more information, resources, and timely advice.