Losing My Focus

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s You,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to You on the water.”

“Come,” He said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:25-33 NIV

I find myself a lot like Peter. I am safely in the boat. I can see Jesus from where I am. I see that He is doing the impossible, walking on the water. I can feel the strong winds blowing around me, but I ask Jesus to call me out. I want to go to Jesus in the open, away from the safety that I know is there. I want to show Him that I will be obedient. And I get out of the boat. And, for a moment, I’m walking on the water too.

But the wind, it surrounds me, buffeting me, and then I look down and see the water. I cannot continue and quicker than lightning, I’m sunk. My head barely bobbles above the water as I call out for help. I cannot make it on my own. I will drown for sure. Why did I get out of the boat? Why didn’t I stay where it was safe? The fear crashes over me as the waves pummel me repeatedly. I cry out. Save me. Don’t leave me here. Lord, save me!

And then He reaches out to me, pulling me from despair.

Why did I doubt him? Why did I let me fear overtake me? What happened out there? Deep down, I know the answer. When I took my eyes off Him, my faith started to crumble. When I stopped focusing on being with Him, following Him anywhere, being obedient, I started to drown. My fears overtook my faith.

The storms of life and the father of lies have been swirling distractions in my mind. I want to follow Jesus; I want to be obedient and give Him my all. I want others to know the changes that Jesus is making in my life. But, for a moment, I felt like the storm surrounded me. The wind and the waves were tossing me, turning me; there seemed to be no light, only confusing darkness. I was groping for something to hang on to. I was praying, seeking persistently, begging even for a glimpse of His will for my life. I thought I had lost my purpose. It was not because I could not “see” Jesus, but because I wasn’t listening to Him. My constant pleading was louder than the still, small voice that was commanding me to set my heart on Him alone. When I became still before God, my vision cleared, and I could see Him again. I was never alone. He was waiting on me to come to Him. My course is restored, and I can move toward Him again. I cannot see where He is leading me yet; He only beckons me to come.

#focus